i hear . . .

. . . cars coming and going on their way to somewhere

. . . the television blaring unaware of what is showing up on the screen

. . . the cat’s meow that comforts as if she senses our sorrow

. . . i hear an emptiness and the monotone sound of my husband’s voice

. . .i hear the still small voice within speaking to me that tries to still my heart

. . . I hear the dog’s sad heartbreaking cry from way down the street in need of someone’s attention

. . . the hummingbird’s wings flapping as it whizzes by

. . . the squirrels chattering yet not finding the joy I once did in their chase of each other around the trees

. . . the bluejays squawking at one another as i want to join them and squawk the loudest

. . . i hear too many crows noisily circling overhead

. . . i hear the clocks ticking the time away, our days that are numbered

. . . the icemaker dropping ice into a tall empty glass

. . . i hear the clocks chiming on the hour when time doesn’t sync or feels the same

. . . the beeping at the door to let us know the alarm is working, that a door is opening somewhere in the house, when a gate opened in heaven

. . . i hear the air conditioner kicking on that cools our heated faces from hot and drowning tears

. . . i hear the repetitive voices of the neighbors talking on their back patio

. . . i hear them, i hear all the voices and sounds of life . . . don’t they know? – when I learned long ago that the world does not stop for your grief

. . . i hear the low hum of the cool fan that mimics the low hum of our sad voices

. . . the long quiet moments staring in the meadow between animal menagerie noises and then nothing

. . . i hear the constant rustling of summer breezes and wish for the wiping of grief’s pain in one swoosh

. . . the pine and oak leaves following the wind, lost and scattered almost at summer’s end

. . . flowers gurgling water to satisfy and feed their thirst, in the middle of a drought

. . . i hear the restless sigh of my breath over and over again

. . . i hear and knew the heart who lives on in the hearts of her children

. . . i hear my own late mother’s voice echoing in my head saying “you can do anything you put your mind to” with determination in my veins, “i can do this.”

. . . I hear her voice in my head as you do

. . . I hear your cry for the loss of your mother

. . . I hear my husband’s sigh as he lays back mentally exhausted in his recliner with snores following soon after for a late morning nap

. . . i hear your cry over the loss of your mother when you cannot cry

. . . i hear the pain of loss in your voice that settles deep within your heart and soul

. . . i hear the turning off of lights with alarms shutting us in a protective cocoon of each others arms

. . . i hear another acorn fall on the back deck, a season turning too soon

. . . the sweet purrings of our cat keeping close company at the foot of our bed

. . . the rhythm of the cpap machine as it helps my husband breathe beside me

. . . i hear beyond it into the quiet of the evening as the moon finds its way and softly lights up the sky

. . . i hear when your heart beats on as you try to sleep surrending to the night

. . . i hear you when the heart of the one you lost now sleeps and rests beyond.

#loss #grief #sadness #motherloss #sorrow #cry #pain #sad #tears #emptiness #daysnumbered #clockticking #heaven #season #comfort #rest

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